Bedding it in Berlin

I’m always meaning to do more touristy stuff in Berlin but, you know how it is – it’s getting colder, I’m a bit lazy…

Luckily, Berlin has the answer to all of my first-world problems. Introducing (drum roll, please)… Berlin Horizontal.

Genius
Genius

I’d only come across this company last weekend while waiting for a friend at Alexanderplatz – it’s hard to miss a bed on wheels, parked in the middle of one of the busiest squares in Berlin. When I got home, I went straight to the Berlin Horizontal website and emailed the owner to try to arrange a tour for this weekend. We arranged to meet at 3pm this afternoon, he took my telephone number in case the weather took a turn for the worse, and even emailed me last night to remind me about the clock going back – all very well-organised and, well, German.

I managed to rope my friend, Heike, into accompanying me, which saved me putting out a message on Facebook along the lines of:

Does anyone want to go to bed with me – in public – next Sunday afternoon?

I probably would have had a few takers though. At least I like to think so…

We showed up a little early and stood around, waiting for our bed to appear. And, oh! The silly giddiness when it did! We shook hands with Richard, the charming, friendly owner of the company, and after introductions and a little small talk, were presented with little blue surgical slippers to put over our shoes. Seemingly, nobody wants to ride in a dirty bed.

Nice and clean and orderly - the way things should be.
Nice and clean and orderly – the way things should be.

We jumped in, fluffed up the pillows and pulled the duvet over us. Richard took a few pictures and then we were off. I think people could probably hear me laughing in Hamburg…

Getting comfortable
Getting comfortable

We took a nicely winding route from Alexanderplatz to Brandenburger Tor, stopping off at Museum Island, the “Lust Garden”, Bebelplatz, Gendarmenmarkt, the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, and Tiergarten along the way, with Richard providing an entertaining commentary as we went. I asked him how he had come up with the idea to start Berlin Horizontal, and he told us that this very special rickshaw had been built for some sort of promotion but, after it had fulfilled its purpose, was left forgotten in a garage somewhere. Richard had rescued it from obscurity and started doing his thing.

20151025_154516
A very happy Berlinda

Aside from being in a bed in the middle of a capital city, what makes this tour so unique, and so much fun, are the reactions from passers-by. Everywhere we went, people were pointing, belly-laughing, taking photos and waving at us. Cries of “Good night!”, “Sleep well!” and “Oh, das ist so geil!” accompanied us around the city. A couple of people even wanted to hop into bed with us, and a bus driver stopped to take a photo of the show. I was grinning like a maniac and, at times, was giggling so uncontrollably, tears were running down my cheeks.

Imagining drivers’ phone calls to their waiting loved ones was enough to set me off in peals of laughter again.

“Hey honey, I’m going to be a bit late. I’m stuck behind a bed on wheels on Unter den Linden…”

Followers
Followers

We quickly perfected our royal waves, but it was a bit difficult to look regal whilst crying laughing under a duvet.

Sleeping beauty
Sleeping beauty

After an hour or so, we arrived at our final destination – Brandenburger Tor. It’s not often you get to upstage one of the most famous sights in the world, but we did just that. People even abandoned taking selfies for long enough to take pictures of us instead. Richard also had one last surprise, producing night caps out of his little bag of tricks. (He also has a reading lamp he can rig up for night-time tours.)

Looking insane at Brandenburger Tor.
Looking insane (but very happy) at Brandenburger Tor.

Alas, our tour had come to an end. To say that I recommend doing a tour with Berlin Horizontal is an understatement. I can honestly say, with no offence intended to the men who have been in my life, that this is the most fun I have ever had in bed. However, I do feel it is important to warn you of the side effect of this tour: the temptation to keep waving and grinning at people long after the tour has ended is very strong.

And probably not appropriate on Berlin’s public transport system.

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133 thoughts on “Bedding it in Berlin”

  1. ‘Love it. So funny! I love the way that you got photographed by all the tourists. They probably think that’s how we really do things in Berlin. Perhaps we do LOL!

    About 10 years ago, we used to have a bar in Schöneberg called “The Bedroom.” It was great as instead of sofas & chairs, you had double beds, and there was a live DJ and a bar and everything. It was pretty cool and the last time that I went there at 02:00, I just decided to call my boss. As you do! And who should come strolling by in less than 2 minutes – the boss himself! Now that’s what I call living the life – Berlin style LOL!

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                1. On another note, is love to get your thoughts on something. While i dint have a following the size if your, by a long shot…I’ve had several people suggest I put my posts together in an ebook. (I still have never told the story of the very sweet, 34 year old, virgin or the scammer in Liverpool.) I don’t know if I should. If I do, think I should use my real name?

                  Liked by 1 person

                2. Not sure I can really advise on that one! I’ve always used my real name, but I’ve never published anything I wouldn’t want everyone I know to read. Then again, my “fame” in LV could have ruined my name there. I guess you just need to consider if there’s anything that could damage your reputation or career – or hurt anyone you know…

                  Liked by 2 people

                3. Good point. I don’t use real names. I was surprised to learn how many people I know personally, that read my blog. They don’t seem to be embarrassed by it. They are all younger and think it might be good to hear about the “ahem” older woman view on sex and dating.

                  We’ll see. Thanks for your input. Btw, I’m going into the studio next week to record a Christmas CD! I’ll let you know how it goes. Cheers!

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    1. He was actually thinking of having a coffee shop on wheels but decided this was a better idea! As I’m not a coffee drinker, but an avid bed-goer, I’m very happy he did! 🙂

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      1. I could definitely do with some fun right about now. Unfortunately, no trip to Berlin in a foreseeable future for me 🙂
        And I could have used bed on wheels a few months ago when I went to an open air music fest and only on arrival to the location noticed that while I’ve taken a tent with me it lacked some essential parts s was totally unusable, and I had to check this whole sleeping in my car thing with an added downsize being that the parking lot was like a long long way away from the festival’s site. or at least it seemed so when I had to walk back all the way to the car still fully loaded with things, useless tent, and a bellyful of beer in me 😉

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    1. Ha ha, you don’t want much, do you?! We went for tea before and afterwards if that’s any consolation 😉 All the drivers behind us were waving and taking photos – so funny 🙂

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      1. Moi? Lil old mwa? Piss someone off? Nah. Never in a lifetime. My car had (note past tense) a catalytic converter, which contains precious things that even Gollum would want. They steal from all the Peugeot/Citroen cars they can find, take the parts apart and get rich quick. Meanwhile, back on the MM’s ranch… 😦

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  2. The American version would be a giant, overstuffed recliner chair on wheels with a cup holder and a snack tray. But I much prefer the bed. Making a list of all the people I’d love to hit the sack with 🙂

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  3. This is amazing. I am all for the most absurd things one could think of… and I think riding around in a bed with a nightcap on ranks up there. Might have to do this 😉
    Did you ever get really sleepy at any point? Maybe the cold whooshing air helps that…

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      1. You only propose that because you’ve never seen our hills. I wouldn’t ride them on a bike even if I wasn’t towing a bed. And then there’s the problem of whether the people in the bed wouldn’t spill out.

        It would wake the village up, though–if a bed can do that.

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    1. The Germans were great! They really got involved – all smiling, laughing, waving, calling out greetings 🙂 And we got that in loads of other languages as well – still plenty of tourists around!

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    1. Oh Heather, it was so much fun! The shame (and good thing about it!) is that he isn’t looking to expand. He’s happy being unique in Berlin and that’s enough for him! If there were hundreds of the things going around every day, people would get tired of it – as it was, we were basically celebs for an hour haha!

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      1. I believe it! And respect to him for not wanting to wring the novelty out of it either. Hopefully he doesn’t run into too many copycats… the streets would get pretty chaotic with futons and love seats rollin’ all over the place. 😉

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                1. Ha ha! Yeah, true 🙂 There were very short bed rails but probably not enough for schnapps drinking 🙂 And really, drinking is just not necessary! It’s already too much fun! 🙂

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  4. That’s hilarious! Wish we had crossed paths with you while walking around Berlin today 😀 How great for a day when you just don’t feel like getting out of bed.

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    1. It really was the most I have laughed in a long time! So much fun – I can’t recommend it highly enough! And I didn’t get a discount so I don’t have to say that 😉 Wish we had crossed paths too – I might have let you hop in for a bit 🙂

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  5. What an absolute hoot of an adventure! Those Germans aren’t quite as tight laced as I thought. And, thank you for the new phrase which I’ll try out at the supermarket this morning. I’ll report back on the responses. “Oh, das ist so geil” 🙂

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                1. Nope, sober but just about to go into a bar – sense of urgency haha! But that wasn’t nearly as hard! “The leaves will have turned red” – pah. I would never even say that in English! Give me practical stuff, woman! What am I, Latvian?!

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