Berlin, German people, Germany, Humor, Humour

Talking shit. Literally.

45 Comments

On Monday, I got rained into a bar – my worst nightmare, as you can imagine. However, I really did mean to stay for just one but then the heavens opened. Google had (oh so reliably) informed me that there was a 0% chance of precipitation that day, so I’d set off in a summer dress and flip-flops, without any of the all-weather paraphernalia the Germans are famous for.

While a lot of people might look at this as a fail on my part, these people clearly do not know me very well. First of all, it was a chance to confuse a whole new set of Berlin pub regulars with my intoxicating Irish accent. Second of all, a trip to the bathroom provided unexpected gold. (“Really, Linda? Toilets again?” I hear you groan.)

Gold.

Now, I’m all for “WC” signs throughout the establishment directing me towards the floodgate unleasher, but never have I seen a “WC” sign directly above the loo. Maybe this was the kind of pub where people got so drunk there was a chance they might mistake the sink/floor for the toilet? Or maybe the local clientele just weren’t that bright to begin with? There were no signs over the bin or the sink but I guess it’s not so important if you miss those…

Anyway, I figured out from the clever signage that the WC was, in fact, the toilet. I’m a smart cookie…

As I approached, I noticed the little picture on the toilet lid. I rubbed my eyes. Nope, the glass of wine hadn’t gone to my head – it really was a poo in a speech bubble. But what could it mean? I started coming up with some ideas:

  • Feel free to talk shit here?
  • Let your poo do the talking?
  • If I were a turd, what would I say…?
  • Poo has the right to freedom of speech?
  • A poo is worth a thousand words?

The only talking poo I’d ever seen was on South Park so this was a bit of a mystery to me. I’m shit out of ideas so does anybody else have any? Is this some kind of German thing I’ve never heard of? Answers on a postcard (i.e. in the comments below).

 

45 thoughts on “Talking shit. Literally.”

  2. I’ve no idea Linda. I’ve never seen the like! Perhaps they want to make it quite clear that “here lies the poo,” as opposed to “over there!”

    Perhaps, the punters have been so hammered that they felt compelled to do their business “on the fly,” so to speak. Or perhaps, the pub manager is more German than the actual Germans. Not always a compliment. So I’ve been told…! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I like being more German than the Germans – I would always take it as a compliment whether it was meant as one or not 😉 I might just have to go back to that Kneipe and ask!

      Like

      Reply

  6. Honestly, you should work for the German tourism board. These posts on all their toilets are really in the “you must see it in person to believe it” vein.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Well, I do post nice pics of nice places too 😉 But this kind of quirk is what really tickles me! I guess you don’t have this kind of stuff in Canada??

      Like

      Reply

      1. Haha, well I can’t speak for the entire country, but not something I have seen. Will be on the lookout. Certainly never seen a poo shelf!

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

  7. Not only is the poo in a speech bubble, but apparently it’s “aromatic” poo as well (you know, those little squiggly lines). Maybe the bar management is overcompensating for its customers: first (as you note) they have to identify the WC and then they have to identify what goes into the WC. That they would single out poo, especially aromatic poo, suggests that perhaps they don’t care where one pees, but they definitely care where one poos. On the other hand, perhaps they assume that all their customers do know where one pees, but, for some odd reason, not where one poos. Or maybe they want the lid to be closed after one poos because of its presumed aroma. Goodness, Germans seem to have a bit of a complex when it comes to peeing and pooing 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

        1. Ha ha! Feel free to try any time 😉 This morning, a student made me a cup of tea. The tea bag said 3-5 minutes so they put an egg-timer on the saucepan to make sure I wasn’t some kind of Irish rebel who took it out after 1 or 2 minutes 😉

          Liked by 1 person

          Reply

  9. The pooh is IN a speech bubble, so I don’t think it’s the pooh that’s talking. Obviously it’s a toilet talking shit. Logical really – what else would you talk if people kept shoving it down your throat?

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. A trash-talking toilet – I like it! But that is some truly horrible imagery you’ve conjured up there 😉 I do like the “obviously” though 🙂

      Like

      Reply

        1. Ha, I’ll keep a careful eye out today then! It’s been raining on and off and I won’t be able to shower my shoes in a lesson! Thanks for the heads up 😉

          Like

          Reply

    1. Maybe there’s a pee toilet in the bar next door – interesting… Pee doesn’t have the same rights as poo in Germany? Is there an expression about Scheißsprechen I don’t know??

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

Let me know what you think