One night, Manfredas and I were sitting in the local bar. (I must stop starting posts like this…) Anyway, after a while, Ulf showed up and the three of us started chatting.
Me: (Something absolutely hilarious and witty)
Manfredas: I need to pee.
Ulf: Oh, so do I. You go first.
Manfredas: No, you go first.
Ulf: No, you.
Manfredas: No, you.
Me: For the love of all that’s holy – why don’t you just go together??
Manfredas & Ulf: NEIN!
Me: Why not?
Ulf: Because we know each other.
Me: But that’s just stupid. So, what, just because you know each other’s names, you can never go to the toilet together?
Manfredas & Ulf: JA!
Ulf: It might be OK for women to go to the bathroom together but not for men.
Me: I never go to the toilet with other women but whatever. So, if you don’t know the other guy’s name, it’s OK?
Manfredas: Exactly. You know my brother-in-law, Lamprecht?
Me: Yes…
Manfredas: Well, we could never, EVER, go to the toilet together.
Me: And your dad?
Manfredas: NIEMALS!
Me: But I just don’t get it. I mean, you shower with your hockey or football team and everyone has their dangly bits on display.
Manfredas: Totally different.
Me: Erm… Because there’s nothing coming out of the willies at the time? Is that the rule?
Manfredas: (looking like he wants the earth to open up and swallow him)
Me: So, every guy in this bar is just looking at who’s going into the toilet so that they don’t accidentally end up in there with someone whose name they know?
Ulf: Pretty much. Crap, Werner has just gone in. We’ll both have to wait.
Me: Germans…
Expat Eye on Germany 